Turkish hospitality is renowned all over the world for its warmth and generosity, and it is no joke. There are rules in place here that just don’t exist in the same capacity elsewhere and presenting anything less could lead to miscommunication, disappointment, and in the worst-case scenario, even someone taking offense. And so, understanding the rules of Turkish hospitality can go a long way for foreigners forging connections in this country they now call home.
Here are 10 top tips on how to host Turks right!
One of the most important rules of thumb for foreigners residing in Türkiye is to expect the unexpected and this includes people possibly showing up at your door unannounced. These could be neighbors or friends and either way, it is always best to welcome them if you can.
Don’t be surprised if your guests come with their guests as for Turks the more people, it is definitely considered the merrier. You may have set the table a certain way and have planned everything accordingly, but it is wise to remain open to the possibility of receiving more guests than expected and to rejoice for the opportunity to meet new people.
Turks take their shoes off upon entering any home no matter what and it is thus customary here to offer your guests a pair of slippers. A top tip is to have an array of slippers in a few different sizes to ensure your guests are as comfortable as possible. Going barefoot or just wearing socks is unheard of here so if you are averse to wearing slippers worn by others then it can be wise to carry your own.
A steadfast tradition among older generations is to pass around a bottle of cologne and squirt a little of the sweet-smelling purifying juice into the open palms of guests. This cologne is not the type that comes in dainty little bottles, as in perfume, but Türkiye’s specialty is used more for refreshing and antiseptic purposes versus just to smell good. So it’s handy to keep a bottle of traditional Turkish cologne around and it is offered at the beginning or/and end of meals.
Perhaps the single most important rule of thumb when it comes to hosting Turks is to offer them a cup of tea or a Turkish coffee. If neighbors, for example, knock on your door or someone comes to visit, it is always appreciated if you offer to serve a cup of tea. Turks love their tea, night or day, the timing doesn’t matter for them, it's much more about the gesture.
Famed for their hospitality as much as their cuisine, most Turks will indeed go to the nines to put out a satisfying spread for their visitors, no matter who they be, and expected or not. But don’t think you need to go preparing cakes or a full-on meal, as snacks and nibbles such as nuts, olives, cheese, pickles, preserves, tomato paste, bread or fruit will do just fine. Any combination of said items will certainly be considered a generous offering.
Out of timidness, politeness, and just general courtesy, many Turks may reject any offering of food, by saying they are full or just simply “No, thank You.” But I say: “Don’t believe them.” I will never forget, when as a teenager, a Turkish friend came to visit me in Los Angeles and my mother asked him if he was hungry.
For some reason (because he’s a Turk) he said “No.” But the truth of the matter is he had just flown an odd 20 hours and was starving. But my mother (a non-Turk) didn’t even put out a plate for him, because he said he wasn’t hungry. And so the lesson is: don’t take what Turks say at face value and just offer them food or drink over and over again until they finally break down the politeness barriers and concede to finally enjoying what you want to share.
It is simply tradition here in Türkiye to offer a spread and then offer up another one again. In other words, just keep lavishing on the treats and never just assume that Turks are done. Many enjoy taking their time and eating slowly, so you also don’t want to clean up the plates too early. Just relax and settle into the conversation and experience, because if in Türkiye it will most likely be a long one!
Turks love to listen to music and to spontaneously get up and dance when the feeling comes over them. This is why, it is always fun to play some music for your guests and to ask them to play some of their favorite songs and suddenly you may find that your calm and collected dinner will have transformed into a dance party.
Turks enjoy socializing and may prioritize it over other obligations, such as going to bed or waking up early for work. This means that a simple pop-in could turn into dinner and a meal could easily turn into a sleepover, it’s just what they do.
They would offer up a guest bed for you so if you’re close and so obliged, it is certainly kind to suggest your guests stay the night rather than navigate home in the dark. This means that most Turkish households will have piles of extra blankets and sheets ready to be laid out for their guests at any moment.
There are even comedic videos such as in the “Tell me you are in Türkiye without actually saying you are in Türkiye” vein in which the closet is opened to reveal nearly half a dozen comforters and blankets ready and at their disposal.
