If one thinks that social media is buzzing or trending only with the war in Gaza or Ukraine or the victory of Donald Trump and its larger impact on world politics, he or she is wrong. There are other issues in the Arab world today that equally create buzz and one such issue is the growing disenchantment toward marriage among the Arab youth. The issue caught special attention recently when an image of three girls carrying a signboard in front of a restauranter asking men to marry them went viral.
One can ignore the signboard as a stunt for popularity, but there are hidden facts behind the signboard. Those girls were not standing there to grab attention but to reveal the untold story of the growing aversion to marriage and marital institutions in the Arab world. The number of men and women over 30 who are not yet married is increasing in the Arab world.
One comes across the most critical figures in Syria and Lebanon when different statistics by respective social welfare departments or global economic agencies are examined. In Lebanon, the disillusionment toward marriage has reached a new height as the current rate of being unmarried is around 85%. In Iraq, 70% of men and women have joined the army of unmarried people. In 2023, the number of unmarried youth in Egypt, with a population of 100 million, was 8 million (5 million men and 3 million women). Today in the United Arab Emirates (UAE), there are around 150,000 unmarried men and women, followed by Tunisia (60%), Algeria (50%), Jordan (42%), Morocco (40%) and Qatar (35%). In a nation of 20 million, around 45% of men and women have not yet married despite crossing the age of 30, as reported by Saudi Arabia’s Economic and Planning Ministry. Surprisingly the lowest rate of being unmarried is recorded in Palestine, which is only 8% followed by Bahrain with 25% and Yemen with 30%.
The reasons for this growing culture of single men or women involve mixed baggage that can be attributed to the embracing of new ideas, an increasing urge for freedom, economic uncertainty, political instability, civil wars, conscription, displacement, migration and deepening cultural and social and economic divides. The new Arab generation is breaking with tradition and making their own choice in every aspect of life, including marriage. A shift in the attitude of the young generation is noticeable and tradition is being outpaced by the internet. The women in Saudi Arabia today stand at the center of a societal pivot between the regime’s paving the way for women's education and employment in the pursuit of new economic and political visions and those who still adhere to the belief that women cannot travel for education or drive alone.
Sometimes, the hefty demands on the part of the bride’s parents and their materialistic approach also discourage the prospective bridegroom from opting for marriage. In Qatar, most girls do not prefer to ride pre-2000 car models. The reasons for the alarming rise in remaining unmarried in countries like Syria, Iraq and Lebanon are quite obvious as these nations are sunk in all sorts of imaginable crises and youth have no hope and hence no marriage. In Yemen, many teenagers continue to postpone their proposed marriages under the shadow of the ongoing war and they are still waiting for the war to end to begin a marital life. Because of the economic plight and incessant inflation in countries like Syria, Lebanon and Yemen, many youngsters are not sure if they can bear the burden of feeding new members or if they can plan their families. In Yemen, there are reports that many women are waiting for their fiance to marry them, but they have joined the militias for the sake of waiting to celebrate their marriages in a bigger way. It is not only the economy that is preventing marriage but also a new urge among the youths to migrate for a better future to a relatively prosperous and safe continent of Europe, which is equally impeding for marriage. Those migrating to Europe are returning and girls are not finding appropriate partners. Most Syrians and immigrants from other countries prefer to marry European girls for the sake of citizenship and a comfortable life, overlooking women of their nationalities.
Moreover, unlike in the past, Arab immigrants to Europe are not the first choice of brides' parents. Most Arab parents do not want their daughters to marry men who live in Europe because of the growing mistreatment of the refugees and growing irreligiosity in Europe. The growing class difference and urban-rural divide where both men and women are fearful of cultural disparity and intellectual outlook is also an important factor in the rise of celibacy among both sections. Many young men, after receiving higher degrees in elite universities, do not fall for women they are often unable to relate to.
The growing divorce culture in Arab society is also keeping women far away from beginning marital life. They fear the dominance of in-laws and life partners in the family; hence, they prefer to remain unmarried instead of spending the rest of their lives as divorcees. Sometimes, it is also a calculated choice on the part of women to address the incompatibility of the existing patriarchal marriage dynamics, with increased aspiration for freedom, autonomy and self-realization while they are gearing up to be masters of their own destinies.
They share the view that old notions like marriage and patriarchy must be defied and for many, marriage is a conventional notion that needs to be challenged. Educated women are said to be married to their work and careers already. Today’s generation sees marriage as a restraint on their freedom and an obstacle to their economic and intellectual progress. This phenomenon became more visible after labor markets were opened for women since some wanted to be away from long-term commitments or relationships. Often girls’ parents do not want their daughters to marry Arab expatriates because of fear of losing them forever.
On the other hand, men’s search for loyalty, virtues, devotion and good manners are also pushing women toward abandoning the idea of marriage. Some parents do not allow their daughters to marry outside their own clan to protect the family's honor and to avoid the backlash from their neighbors and relatives. While the men in the Arab world are allowed to marry foreigners, women are deprived of this option, which prolongs the years of celibacy for women, and the Emirates is a case in point.
The decreasing rates of marriage are an indicator of transformation in the social equilibrium. Women, who choose not to marry, face oppression in some parts of conservative Arab societies. Various bloggers and social media lovers over the years have launched a war on them and one very often hears of the hashtag, “Let her stay a spinster.”
